Once Bitten, Twice Shy

I have the flu. I would not, in fact recommend this to a friend. I would also not recommend it while on vacation, which I am. I am visiting an old friend out west and am supposed to be living it up and stress free. Instead, I am home with a box of Kleenex, the pulpiest orange juice in the history of the world, and crappy DVDs. My friend is out, needing to escape the wonderful sneezing that is me.

Things are still insane and upside down. Some things have changed, others haven't. One that has, while seemingly small to others, actually isn't. The other week, after roughly 15 years of long, long hair, I cut it all off. I decided that the kids at Locks of Love needed it more than I. It was something I have always wanted to do but never had the balls to go through. One morning I just woke up and decided that it was a fresh start and that was my first step. The other steps are yet to come, but I guess only time will tell.

I had planned on writing more, but here's the thing. I like telling stories, I find it fun and it's a good way to space out my thoughts. However, the sharing the details of my life has come to really bite me squarely on the ass. I am trying to do this maybe, again, but without the truly personal stuff. But my sweet fancy moses, it's hard. I start one train of thought and then second guess myself. I don't know if this will work or not, I guess only time will tell with that as well.

That's all for now, more really poorly made movies need my attention.

Chaos

My life for the past 45 days or so has been chaotic at best. Things turned upside down, inside out and any which way imaginable. At times I feel like I can't catch my breath. Other times I feel like I am at the very end of my rope. It's scary, it's hard, it's life and currently, it sucks. But I am pushing on and focusing on the good things the future (hopefully) holds. Or at least I am trying to. When you are in the midst of the suck it's hard to be all positive. Let's just say I am really trying to focus on good stuff, wherever it may be.

I am still trying to figure out if I should return to blogging full time. I ,at times, miss it, and at others am glad my life is mine again. No one knows the inner thoughts but me. But these days, when my brain is spinning 145 mph, I need some kind of outlet. Trying to decide if this is it...I'll let you know. Especially as the address will surely change and there will be a password of some sort involved.

Word.

Question

Does anyone know of a good password protected blogging site? If I were to continue blogging I think that's the only way I would ever consider it again.

Thoughts or suggestions anyone?

Hiatus

So...things this past weekend were interesting. For reasons I won't share here I need to step away and rethink this whole blog thing.

Originally the idea of sharing stories I had with the world was appealing. I liked making people laugh. It morphed into a blog about my relationship and has morphed again since then. Now, all this sharing has come to bite me in the ass.

The idea of entirely stepping away is hard. I use this as my outlet and feel I have come to make a few friends through this incredibly unlikely medium. But, with the recent turn of events, it's an outlet I can't afford. So I am stepping away. Figuring things out. For at least a week. It's during that time I will clear my head of all the thoughts someone else shoved in there, unwanted and unasked for. Hopefully, I can do this. And when and if I return? Yeah, it will be a new me. One who is a lot more jaded, a lot more cynical and a lot less willing to share the personal details of my life.

For those out there who supported me, I thank you sincerely. I hope that you will continue to stay in touch, you have the email address. For those of you who came here solely to try and bring me down, and you know who you are, I just want to let you know, you didn't succeed. You have no power over my life. Period. Just know that. Sorry to leave you all guessing what the mysterious circumstances of my rapid departure is, all I can say is there are ugly and vicious people out there, and they have brought themselves into my life.

So for now, kids, I bid you adieu.