Question, how in God's name is it only Wednesday? No, seriously. For real, this week has a secret extra day. Perhaps twelve of them. By my calculations it's actually May 19th. Stupid long seeming week.
It's possibly also long seeming as I just got home from work and it's 10:20 PM. Sure, it's this late as I had a work event after the official work day, but work events aren't fun by the traditional definition. One can't truly relax when sitting across from CEOs and heads of departments that control your salary. Also there was talk of deadlines and checking of BlackBerrys. Obsessively. This is not my idea of 'a fun night out', it's technically 'not fun, please for the love of everything holy let me go sit on my couch'. At least there was wine. If there weren't I believe I would have set myself on fire and run out of the restaurant 3 hours ago. Because I'm subtle.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
A Conversation
The following is a conversation I had with a friend tonight. I had introduced her to the Target box o' wine glory a few weeks ago and let her know that they also had single serving ones. Tonight she went to check them out.
Her: The single serving wine looks like juice boxes!
Me: You should take them in your lunch. They make work exciting.
Her: Good point. They are just so cute.
Me: Yes, welcome to my wonderful world of adorable and convenient alcoholism.
Her: Thanks, and well put.
Then I drank a glass of box wine in her honor. It's truly a classy existence, mine, but I like it.
Her: The single serving wine looks like juice boxes!
Me: You should take them in your lunch. They make work exciting.
Her: Good point. They are just so cute.
Me: Yes, welcome to my wonderful world of adorable and convenient alcoholism.
Her: Thanks, and well put.
Then I drank a glass of box wine in her honor. It's truly a classy existence, mine, but I like it.
Monday, April 28, 2008
A Day
I have had A DAY. It involved a really crappy 5 hour long meeting. This resulted in my wanting to punch myself in the face repeatedly on my drive home. I did not do this and instead whined to my mommy and said fuck a lot. I am the definition of maturity.
And now, to really drive that point home I am going to watch Gossip Girls and eat cake.
My brain feels all melty.
And now, to really drive that point home I am going to watch Gossip Girls and eat cake.
My brain feels all melty.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Summer
Summer has come early to Southern California. Today it was 96 degrees at my house and my air conditioner keeps making my fuses explode. Ergo, I am warm. When I signed up for LA livin' I knew it would come with traffic and giant fake boobs, I did not know however that it would also include living on the surface of the sun. Neither my cats nor I are happy today and we have all huddled around the computer and researched real estate in Portland. It looks cooler there.
On the plus side, I have root beer and lemonade (and cake) and every few hours I have deja vu of my childhood spent in the dessert. If I had some sprinklers to run through I think I wouldn't mind the skin melting off my body. This is yet another reason that I need a home with a yard. The first reason is ,of course, so I can own a hammock and sit in it all day. But, if I had a yard I would be outside wearing pigtails and running through the sprinklers. And that would be good.
Perhaps I should go ask a neighbor to turn a hose on me?
On the plus side, I have root beer and lemonade (and cake) and every few hours I have deja vu of my childhood spent in the dessert. If I had some sprinklers to run through I think I wouldn't mind the skin melting off my body. This is yet another reason that I need a home with a yard. The first reason is ,of course, so I can own a hammock and sit in it all day. But, if I had a yard I would be outside wearing pigtails and running through the sprinklers. And that would be good.
Perhaps I should go ask a neighbor to turn a hose on me?
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Things I Learned Today
1) I can not run both my air conditioner and the microwave as it makes my fuses explode.
2) Being hung over when it's 100 degrees outside is decidedly unpleasant.
3) Lars and the Real Girl is an awesome movie, check it out
Today was truly a good day and involved bar-be-queuing, cake and root beer. It also involved a lot of sweat and air conditioning. Thanks global warming, you're a peach.
2) Being hung over when it's 100 degrees outside is decidedly unpleasant.
3) Lars and the Real Girl is an awesome movie, check it out
Today was truly a good day and involved bar-be-queuing, cake and root beer. It also involved a lot of sweat and air conditioning. Thanks global warming, you're a peach.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Good Times
Today started at 4AM when my cat sneezed on my face. It was pretty much all downhill from there.
Ok, that's a mild exaggeration, the rest was on par with the cat sneeze. It was very busy and stressful and chock full of me running around in small circles trying to keep up with all the projects. I did however find plenty of time to whine and stamp my feet about the lack of cake in my diet. I want cake. Specifically, I want all the cake in the world and then a nap in a hammock. I don't think this is too much to ask. However when I was driving home at 7:30, having finally escaped from under the giant pile of emails, I was too tired to go and get said cake. This made my eye twitch and expletives escape from between my clenched teeth. And then I remembered...I had purchased Eggos. Thus I screamed out loud (yes, this actually happened) 'I have WAFFLES' with the type of glee that one generally reserves for multiple orgasms.
My life is a wonderful tapestry...of embarrassing moments and carbohydrates. It's fun being a girl.
Ok, that's a mild exaggeration, the rest was on par with the cat sneeze. It was very busy and stressful and chock full of me running around in small circles trying to keep up with all the projects. I did however find plenty of time to whine and stamp my feet about the lack of cake in my diet. I want cake. Specifically, I want all the cake in the world and then a nap in a hammock. I don't think this is too much to ask. However when I was driving home at 7:30, having finally escaped from under the giant pile of emails, I was too tired to go and get said cake. This made my eye twitch and expletives escape from between my clenched teeth. And then I remembered...I had purchased Eggos. Thus I screamed out loud (yes, this actually happened) 'I have WAFFLES' with the type of glee that one generally reserves for multiple orgasms.
My life is a wonderful tapestry...of embarrassing moments and carbohydrates. It's fun being a girl.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
A New Plan
So as we all know I am not dating and have declared a ban on all men. It's good times except doesn't really reduce my stress. It does the exact opposite as a matter of fact. Since dating is not on the table I need something new to funnel my energy into. I tried wearing pajama pants and sitting on the couch while drinking wine. I also tried working 14 hours a day. Neither of these worked. Thus the new plan which I like to call 'Kickin' shit (and whatnot)'.
This plan involves the following: Kick boxing and, well... whatnot. I am clever with the naming and details, no? I think this plan will help get me out of the house and one step further away from being a cat lady. It will also help reduce the rage which is generally hurled at other drivers. It will also help my aim.
The plan goes into action the first day that my brain isn't melted from all the working. Stupid brain.
This plan involves the following: Kick boxing and, well... whatnot. I am clever with the naming and details, no? I think this plan will help get me out of the house and one step further away from being a cat lady. It will also help reduce the rage which is generally hurled at other drivers. It will also help my aim.
The plan goes into action the first day that my brain isn't melted from all the working. Stupid brain.
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