Klutz

I've never hid the fact that I'm a klutz. It's actually hard to as well, I walk into stuff a lot and shout 'ow'. It draws attention. It's been going on my whole life, so much in fact that on my 8th birthday four separate people bought me a copy of the book 'Megan the Klutz'. Haha, people. Ha fucking ha. Usually I am ok with the whole thing. I find it mildly amusing and point out bruises I have gotten by oh, say, walking into my living room chair and flipping over it, landing on a cat scratch pole.

Yeah.

That actually happened.

However... lately it's been out of control. I went to answer my cell phone the other day and the person on the other line heard a scuffle then me saying 'oops, I hit myself in the face with the phone.' Who does that? Who can't open a flip phone and press it to their face to speak? Me. That's who. I flipped it open, hit myself in the nose and dropped it. I've got mad skills, yo.

It all came to a head yesterday though. I was walking side by side with my new CEO and opened a door for him. I opened the door directly into my face, knocking off my glasses and making a comical 'ughhhh' noise. Once he finished laughing he patted me on the shoulder and walked off.

I make great first impressions. And now have a bruise on my eye. Rock and roll!