I Am Old

On Saturday a friend and I got up oh so very early and headed out to Catalina. The goal was to horseback ride and hike. Upon arriving we found out the stables had been shut down. Thus we decided to paddle boat.

Internet, paddle boating is much harder than I remember. Especially when it's on the ocean and hello, waves. It was like taking a spin class, but wetter. After about 10 minutes we looked at each other and debated heading back in. Deciding that was lame, we persevered and stayed out for about two hours. This was mostly because as we got closed to the bay it A) got easier and B) there were Manta rays which you could see through the clear water. That was severely awesome. Also because each of us didn't want to seem lame so we were waiting for the other to call uncle. I finally did and she almost wept with happiness.

Upon returning to shore though, was less awesome. We stood up and both of our legs turned to rubber. The only cure we felt was ice cream, logically. And thus, we sat and it was good. The end.

We did in fact hike and then we shopped...and then we encountered the most obnoxious wedding party in the history of mankind. Apparently it's wedding season in Catalina. We were literally stalked by four different wedding parties and accidentally ate lunch about 6 inches from another. Fun, fun times. (I really hope you can tell that's sarcasm, but in case you can't, it was). However, nothing compared to the party that was on the ferry home with us. The 1.5 hour ferry... two tables away from us. Apparently the bride and groom (who were, to quote my friend, intensely icky and prone to sticking their tongues down each others throats very graphically) had eloped and taken along their group of close friends. The group was...interesting. Apparently they'd all gotten very different memos about the wedding. One was in a tux and another in sweat pants. They all though did get the memo about drinking. All I can say is I am now afraid of booze. If you can make you that big of a jackass well, then I don't really want a part of it. The sweatpants dude was slamming his body against the window of the ship trying to amuse the people inside. (Hint: not amusing) I literally had to restrain my friend from throwing things at them. This was only because I didn't want to be forced to swim home which I feared may be the punishment. Otherwise? Shoes would have been flying.

Luckily we docked and no one was injured. Except for my friend and I. It was only upon returning to the car that we realized that paddle boating had injured our backs... as we're 80 years old. We were due to go to a BBQ that night so I dropped her home and then went off to get showered and ice my back. It was then we started texting each other about our various injuries and then each fell asleep on our respective couches by 9:45. PARTY. I don't think I have ever felt so old in my life but seriously, I could have watched a couple episodes of Matlock and been pretty content.

Then last night I spray painted myself gold and went to a party. But that's a story for another time.