- On Friday I went to a holiday party and took my friend Ava as my date. Apparently this created some controversy when she jokingly said that she was going to make an honest woman of me...and now everyone I work with thinks I'm a lesbian. Rumors flying about, staring and pointing. No. Joke. So we decided to play along and then I licked her neck. Yep, that totally put those rumors to rest, yessirree.
- On Saturday I went with a friend/date to 4 different parties. At one I sang Baby Got Back while stone cold sober. Let's just say karaoke when sober is a touch awkward. But, if you sing about big butts it's a smidge easier. The fourth and last party was a house party. Guess who was there? The virgin I hooked up with a week ago and that never called me back. Apparently Los Angeles is approximately one foot big and everyone knows everyone. Let's just say the virgin got really awkward and there was a lot of foot shuffling on his part. On my part I was happy when my date wanted to leave after 20 minutes.
- What else could I be forgetting... oh, that's right on Sunday a different date TOOK ME ON A MOTHERFUCKING HELICOPTER TOUR. Yeah. He did. We met for wine and the second part of the date was a mystery. He then told me we'd be taking a helicopter to see Christmas lights. I had a mild panic attack due to my whole loving the ground and not loving flight thing, but then he surprised me with a bottle of champagne and it helped squash the nerves. Dudes, helicopters are alternately scary and awesome. It's kind of like being in a car but in the air. Also, Christmas lights are pretty from above.
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1 comment:
Oh ODD, how much pain and suffering did you cause in a former life to be thrown into this much irony in this one?
I apologize for being a pig, but the neck licking thing is hot.
Chuck
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