Until I am 28. I am excited to see 27 go away. Yes please. Here's to 28 bring the best year yet.
And if tonight is any indication of the year to come, then it definitely will be. I saw a Lakers game in a suite with tasty free beer and wine. And? When coming back from the bathroom? I saw Magic Johnson. I, in shock, said 'Magic Johnson!' and he said 'hello'. Obviously we are BFF now and I am on the Christmas card list. I also saw Hugh Heffner and his harem, David Beckham and Flava Flav. He's wee and I can carry him around in my pocket. The game was amazing, Lakers won by a slight margin and against my better judgement I found myself on my feet and cheering them on. That's how good the game was.
Now it's time to go stare at the clock and watch the last minutes of 27 tick away. And all I can say is 'Dear 27, don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.'
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
WOO HOO
Today I received an awesome early birthday present: tickets to tomorrow's Lakers game. In a suite. See generally I don't really enjoy the sports. But when it comes in a suite with free alcohol, yes please, sign me up. Also, in suites at the Staples Center they have nachos. I will walk to the ends of the earth for these nachos. I am in no way exaggerating.
In preparation for tomorrow I spent the evening at a wine bar with a friend. It was most excellent as the wine was cheap, the bar was empty and the bartender was adorable. We drank of the wine and caught up. This has resulted in an alcohol content far too high for Monday but as it also resulted in a drive home wherein we sang along to 'Livin' on a Prayer' so I think it all evens out. It also resulted in us planning our next trips for our respective 30th birthdays. Her trip will be to Greece and Turkey. However, due to the wine, I insisted the country was actually Hungary. Many, many bad jokes ensued.
This is how all Monday's should be.
In preparation for tomorrow I spent the evening at a wine bar with a friend. It was most excellent as the wine was cheap, the bar was empty and the bartender was adorable. We drank of the wine and caught up. This has resulted in an alcohol content far too high for Monday but as it also resulted in a drive home wherein we sang along to 'Livin' on a Prayer' so I think it all evens out. It also resulted in us planning our next trips for our respective 30th birthdays. Her trip will be to Greece and Turkey. However, due to the wine, I insisted the country was actually Hungary. Many, many bad jokes ensued.
This is how all Monday's should be.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Yes, That Totally Just Happened
This weekend was good and low key as it helped me recover from my trip to glorious Minneapolis. I spent Saturday drinking at an sidewalk wine bar, eating gelato and then watching Iron Man with Liz. This was a very good time and I suggest you get yourself a day like this post haste. However, it was after this wonderful afternoon that I saw one of the most perplexing things ever. Not so much perplexing really as just Blatant Disregard For The Law In An Oblivious Fashion, a BDFTLIANOF for short, if you will.
I was leaving the Trader Joes parking garage, all content with life and my bags full of affordable food stuff. It was then that I saw an SUV weave its way into the garage. The driver caught my eye as she was drinking out of a wine glass. I thought, ok, well maybe she just likes fancy glassware? No. She chugged what was in the glass and shoved it towards the passenger who then filled the glass with wine. Let's repeat that. FILLED THE GLASS WITH WINE. From a bottle. In a moving car. Oh and the passenger? Looked around 18 or younger. Also, neither were wearing seat belts. I just needed to add that as well, I am basically tallying up the law breaking count. I was in such shock that I got about 3 miles away before I could fully process what I had seen. And it was only when I got home that I realized I should have called the cops. I would have told them to just look at the idiot in the SUV who on top of everything was probably getting shitty gas mileage.
It was at this moment that i knew for sure that I need to leave LA eventually. And remember to call 911 when seeing such blazing displays of idiocy. I have, however, promised my brother I will stay until he graduates from high school in 3 years. Perhaps he will let me bump that up when I tell him that people are driving around, drinking, in poorly designed vehicles. Perhaps he'll take pity. Until then I am off to build myself a car with giant inflatable bumpers and an iron man-esque suit. That should help protect me until I am able to flee this city.
I was leaving the Trader Joes parking garage, all content with life and my bags full of affordable food stuff. It was then that I saw an SUV weave its way into the garage. The driver caught my eye as she was drinking out of a wine glass. I thought, ok, well maybe she just likes fancy glassware? No. She chugged what was in the glass and shoved it towards the passenger who then filled the glass with wine. Let's repeat that. FILLED THE GLASS WITH WINE. From a bottle. In a moving car. Oh and the passenger? Looked around 18 or younger. Also, neither were wearing seat belts. I just needed to add that as well, I am basically tallying up the law breaking count. I was in such shock that I got about 3 miles away before I could fully process what I had seen. And it was only when I got home that I realized I should have called the cops. I would have told them to just look at the idiot in the SUV who on top of everything was probably getting shitty gas mileage.
It was at this moment that i knew for sure that I need to leave LA eventually. And remember to call 911 when seeing such blazing displays of idiocy. I have, however, promised my brother I will stay until he graduates from high school in 3 years. Perhaps he will let me bump that up when I tell him that people are driving around, drinking, in poorly designed vehicles. Perhaps he'll take pity. Until then I am off to build myself a car with giant inflatable bumpers and an iron man-esque suit. That should help protect me until I am able to flee this city.
Friday, June 06, 2008
I'm Baaa-acck
I will give you one guess where I'm been. Here's a clue:
Oh yes, I was in Minneapolis. Fun fact? God hates me as the second I landed? End of the world. No joke. Hail, thunderstorms and tornados. But, this did not stop my love for the Minneapolis. Why, you ask, would anyone love a city that tries to kill you with the giant hail? That reason is very easy and straight forward. Because they soak everything in butter. I ordered a salad the other day and the waitress brought me a roll to go with it that I believe was 99% butter, 1% flour. It was then that I dropped down on bended knee and asked her to be mine forever. She may not have made the rolls, but she knew where they were kept. Then I unhinged my jaw and swallowed the roll like a snake.
I had quite possibly one of the best meals of my life. In MINNEAPOLIS. You literally could have knocked me over with a feather, but no exaggeration by the end of the meal my coworkers and I were near tears with how good it was. I had a burger. But not just any burger, a burger that had butter added to the meat (yeah), brie melted on top and then served on a homemade english muffin. Also a salad with dressing I want to swim in. AND I DON"T LIKE SALAD DRESSING. Also, the piece de resistance was the side dish the table split which was hand made gnocchi fried with butter and topped with cheese. The last piece was sitting on the dishes and we all circled it like hyenas. I won. Sure, I was scratched and may have severed an arm leaping for it, but totally worth it. If you are ever in downtown Minneapolis, go to 112 Eatery and order the burger and think of me. Then cry a tear of joy for how happy your mouth is.
Moral of the story, sure, Minneapolis will try to kill you with tornados but they will make up for it with butter. I may move there.
PS- all I did in MN was eat and work and not sleep. I am ok with this. But the rest was boring and not worth mentioning how I had to pretend to be an adult for 3 whole days. Tonight I plan on detoxing from the butter (perhaps with pizza) and figuring out how to de-adultify myself.
Oh yes, I was in Minneapolis. Fun fact? God hates me as the second I landed? End of the world. No joke. Hail, thunderstorms and tornados. But, this did not stop my love for the Minneapolis. Why, you ask, would anyone love a city that tries to kill you with the giant hail? That reason is very easy and straight forward. Because they soak everything in butter. I ordered a salad the other day and the waitress brought me a roll to go with it that I believe was 99% butter, 1% flour. It was then that I dropped down on bended knee and asked her to be mine forever. She may not have made the rolls, but she knew where they were kept. Then I unhinged my jaw and swallowed the roll like a snake.
I had quite possibly one of the best meals of my life. In MINNEAPOLIS. You literally could have knocked me over with a feather, but no exaggeration by the end of the meal my coworkers and I were near tears with how good it was. I had a burger. But not just any burger, a burger that had butter added to the meat (yeah), brie melted on top and then served on a homemade english muffin. Also a salad with dressing I want to swim in. AND I DON"T LIKE SALAD DRESSING. Also, the piece de resistance was the side dish the table split which was hand made gnocchi fried with butter and topped with cheese. The last piece was sitting on the dishes and we all circled it like hyenas. I won. Sure, I was scratched and may have severed an arm leaping for it, but totally worth it. If you are ever in downtown Minneapolis, go to 112 Eatery and order the burger and think of me. Then cry a tear of joy for how happy your mouth is.
Moral of the story, sure, Minneapolis will try to kill you with tornados but they will make up for it with butter. I may move there.
PS- all I did in MN was eat and work and not sleep. I am ok with this. But the rest was boring and not worth mentioning how I had to pretend to be an adult for 3 whole days. Tonight I plan on detoxing from the butter (perhaps with pizza) and figuring out how to de-adultify myself.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Day 2
Well, that's annoying. I wrote a whole long post and blogger apparently is now a critic and deleted it when I tried to post. Good times!
Just know that last night I got 3 hours of sleep and am too tired to recreate the masterpiece. Ergo, I am going to go stare at walls. Perhaps tomorrow I will remember basic human speech and rewrite. Fingers crossed.
Just know that last night I got 3 hours of sleep and am too tired to recreate the masterpiece. Ergo, I am going to go stare at walls. Perhaps tomorrow I will remember basic human speech and rewrite. Fingers crossed.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Do You Know What's Fun?
Insomnia.
I have in fact reached the end of the internet and watched all TV and movies ever recorded. It's not all it's cracked up to be. But it does make me incredibly thankful for Tivo and the 18,000 episodes of House Hunters I recorded and saved for a rainy day. Well my friends, it's raining. I miss sleep. Tell me what it's like?
Today was not great hence, I believe, the insomnia. Perhaps I will go count sheep. Although with my luck I'll get obsessed with wool and then go buy a loom. Oh yeah, I said it. Be prepared. Everyone is getting hand-loomed (is that a term?) blankets for Christmas. They'll all have pictures of cats as I like to combine my interests.
I have in fact reached the end of the internet and watched all TV and movies ever recorded. It's not all it's cracked up to be. But it does make me incredibly thankful for Tivo and the 18,000 episodes of House Hunters I recorded and saved for a rainy day. Well my friends, it's raining. I miss sleep. Tell me what it's like?
Today was not great hence, I believe, the insomnia. Perhaps I will go count sheep. Although with my luck I'll get obsessed with wool and then go buy a loom. Oh yeah, I said it. Be prepared. Everyone is getting hand-loomed (is that a term?) blankets for Christmas. They'll all have pictures of cats as I like to combine my interests.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
The Weekend: A Check List
Attended Sex and the City Movie without killing girls who laughed/orgasmed every time Sarah Jessica Parker opened her mouth: Check
Added new items to Spinster Kitchen: Check
Got mauled by a kitten: Check
It was a very exciting weekend. First, I bought a crock pot. Do try to contain your excitement at this news. I fully blame both my impending 28th birthday (T-Minus 10 days) and Target and it's wooing ways. I went in to buy cereal. I came out with 200 dollars worth of crap, including my new shiny slow cookin' apparatus. To follow up this feat, today I purchased a cookbook for slow cooking and then chased Liz around The Grove with it until she agreed that yes, it sounds like a wonderful way to pass my time. Then she drank a lot of vodka.
But let's back it up to the truly exciting and potentially scarring news: mauled by a kitten. I was having a rockin' Saturday night and was watching The Professional with a cat fast asleep on my lap. During the movie dudes pop out of nowhere with guns all a'wavin' and I jumped. This apparently startled the hell beast on my lap as he tried to claw through my skin and burrow into my chest cavity. It probably didn't help that in the chaos I grabbed onto him and hugged him to attempt to calm him down. (I'm very smart) He did not like this and tried to dig more rapidly. Then I shouted, he shouted and I finally realized 'Hey Jackass, let go of the thing with the flying claws' and he scampered away. That's when I assessed the damage. The damage was plentiful as my shirt was in tatters and my chest and stomach were bleeding profusely. For a moment I thought 'shit, this is how I die, mauled to death by 20 pounds of orange fury', but I somehow pulled through. To say that scratch marks and puncture wounds on the chest and stomach are uncomfortable would be an understatement. I have countered the pain via Neosporin and wine in copious amounts. That's an incredibly sound medical plan I think. Damn, I should have been a doctor. And as a doctor I would prescribe another application of Cab Sauvignon and a man servant to follow me around and fetch things for me. Like chocolate. And clippers for cat nails.
And now a picture of the ferocious beast in all his napping glory:
Added new items to Spinster Kitchen: Check
Got mauled by a kitten: Check
It was a very exciting weekend. First, I bought a crock pot. Do try to contain your excitement at this news. I fully blame both my impending 28th birthday (T-Minus 10 days) and Target and it's wooing ways. I went in to buy cereal. I came out with 200 dollars worth of crap, including my new shiny slow cookin' apparatus. To follow up this feat, today I purchased a cookbook for slow cooking and then chased Liz around The Grove with it until she agreed that yes, it sounds like a wonderful way to pass my time. Then she drank a lot of vodka.
But let's back it up to the truly exciting and potentially scarring news: mauled by a kitten. I was having a rockin' Saturday night and was watching The Professional with a cat fast asleep on my lap. During the movie dudes pop out of nowhere with guns all a'wavin' and I jumped. This apparently startled the hell beast on my lap as he tried to claw through my skin and burrow into my chest cavity. It probably didn't help that in the chaos I grabbed onto him and hugged him to attempt to calm him down. (I'm very smart) He did not like this and tried to dig more rapidly. Then I shouted, he shouted and I finally realized 'Hey Jackass, let go of the thing with the flying claws' and he scampered away. That's when I assessed the damage. The damage was plentiful as my shirt was in tatters and my chest and stomach were bleeding profusely. For a moment I thought 'shit, this is how I die, mauled to death by 20 pounds of orange fury', but I somehow pulled through. To say that scratch marks and puncture wounds on the chest and stomach are uncomfortable would be an understatement. I have countered the pain via Neosporin and wine in copious amounts. That's an incredibly sound medical plan I think. Damn, I should have been a doctor. And as a doctor I would prescribe another application of Cab Sauvignon and a man servant to follow me around and fetch things for me. Like chocolate. And clippers for cat nails.
And now a picture of the ferocious beast in all his napping glory:
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