I will give you one guess where I'm been. Here's a clue:
Oh yes, I was in Minneapolis. Fun fact? God hates me as the second I landed? End of the world. No joke. Hail, thunderstorms and tornados. But, this did not stop my love for the Minneapolis. Why, you ask, would anyone love a city that tries to kill you with the giant hail? That reason is very easy and straight forward. Because they soak everything in butter. I ordered a salad the other day and the waitress brought me a roll to go with it that I believe was 99% butter, 1% flour. It was then that I dropped down on bended knee and asked her to be mine forever. She may not have made the rolls, but she knew where they were kept. Then I unhinged my jaw and swallowed the roll like a snake.
I had quite possibly one of the best meals of my life. In MINNEAPOLIS. You literally could have knocked me over with a feather, but no exaggeration by the end of the meal my coworkers and I were near tears with how good it was. I had a burger. But not just any burger, a burger that had butter added to the meat (yeah), brie melted on top and then served on a homemade english muffin. Also a salad with dressing I want to swim in. AND I DON"T LIKE SALAD DRESSING. Also, the piece de resistance was the side dish the table split which was hand made gnocchi fried with butter and topped with cheese. The last piece was sitting on the dishes and we all circled it like hyenas. I won. Sure, I was scratched and may have severed an arm leaping for it, but totally worth it. If you are ever in downtown Minneapolis, go to 112 Eatery and order the burger and think of me. Then cry a tear of joy for how happy your mouth is.
Moral of the story, sure, Minneapolis will try to kill you with tornados but they will make up for it with butter. I may move there.
PS- all I did in MN was eat and work and not sleep. I am ok with this. But the rest was boring and not worth mentioning how I had to pretend to be an adult for 3 whole days. Tonight I plan on detoxing from the butter (perhaps with pizza) and figuring out how to de-adultify myself.