Friday, June 06, 2008

I'm Baaa-acck

I will give you one guess where I'm been. Here's a clue:

Oh yes, I was in Minneapolis. Fun fact? God hates me as the second I landed? End of the world. No joke. Hail, thunderstorms and tornados. But, this did not stop my love for the Minneapolis. Why, you ask, would anyone love a city that tries to kill you with the giant hail? That reason is very easy and straight forward. Because they soak everything in butter. I ordered a salad the other day and the waitress brought me a roll to go with it that I believe was 99% butter, 1% flour. It was then that I dropped down on bended knee and asked her to be mine forever. She may not have made the rolls, but she knew where they were kept. Then I unhinged my jaw and swallowed the roll like a snake.

I had quite possibly one of the best meals of my life. In MINNEAPOLIS. You literally could have knocked me over with a feather, but no exaggeration by the end of the meal my coworkers and I were near tears with how good it was. I had a burger. But not just any burger, a burger that had butter added to the meat (yeah), brie melted on top and then served on a homemade english muffin. Also a salad with dressing I want to swim in. AND I DON"T LIKE SALAD DRESSING. Also, the piece de resistance was the side dish the table split which was hand made gnocchi fried with butter and topped with cheese. The last piece was sitting on the dishes and we all circled it like hyenas. I won. Sure, I was scratched and may have severed an arm leaping for it, but totally worth it. If you are ever in downtown Minneapolis, go to 112 Eatery and order the burger and think of me. Then cry a tear of joy for how happy your mouth is.

Moral of the story, sure, Minneapolis will try to kill you with tornados but they will make up for it with butter. I may move there.

PS- all I did in MN was eat and work and not sleep. I am ok with this. But the rest was boring and not worth mentioning how I had to pretend to be an adult for 3 whole days. Tonight I plan on detoxing from the butter (perhaps with pizza) and figuring out how to de-adultify myself.


AJ said...

Mmmmmm.... pizza....

Becky said...

I went to the U of MN and lived in Minneapolis for 10 years. Oddly I gained 50 lbs. Since I am now in Wisconsin, the land of CHEESE beer and butter, I haven't lost it.

But welcome to our fair midwest. If the tornados and rain don't kill, you the winters will. But we are fat and happy so eh.

Deanna said...

HA! I have your blog bookmarked because you are so darn funny and when I need a laugh, I look here. I live in Mpls but haven't eaten at the 112. The burger sounds great! Yeah, we've had a rough Spring, and by the time Summer gets here, it might be a whole month long! You need to move here.

Karin said...

Hmm I'm just down the street from the 112 Eatery working the day away, and I've never been there. I'll have to go. Thanks for the tip! Next time you're in Minnesota, head out to Stillwater, it's a great little town on the St. Croix River with a historic downtown and the best ice cream shop ever, Nelsons!

Just a suggestion!


Oh, and next time, skip the MOA for shopping and head to Uptown Minneapolis or Grand Avenue.