Dudes, the only logical explanation for the current state of my apartment is that wild beavers broke in, took all of my stuff out of the closets and attempted to build a dam and when that didn't work blew it up. Yeah. So, it's a bit messy. But clearly not my fault, goddamn wild beavers.
Seriously though I legitimately can't find half of the stuff I own. Why? Because it's all in one massive pile in the middle of the floor. Remember the trip I took to San Francisco about two weeks ago? The suitcase is still packed at the bottom of the pile. In fact I'm thinking of just taking said suitcase to a hotel, with a cat tucked under each arm, while a team clad in safety suits cleans for me.
Generally speaking I'm not the tidiest person to ever walk the planet. However in the last few years I've gotten much, much better. I'd say 3 weeks out of 4 you can see the floor! (that totally rhymed) Apparently all of that 'better' went straight out the door with the dawn of 2010. I blame the fact that I have spent approximately 15 minutes in my apartment in the last 5 weeks. Those were a wonderful 15 minutes wherein I sat on my couch and spoke to it in a loving voice, explaining that I missed it and would be with it again soon. It was a touching moment, I assure you.
Thus this weekend I will pretend to be an adult. I will stay in and not go out day drinking. I will clean, dammit. And I will wear a tiara while doing it. Because I'm mature and a pretty, pretty princess.