Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Another One Bites the Dust

Apparently when I'm single a memo is sent out to the males in the greater Los Angeles area. This memo states: 'if you are single and have a non functioning penis, Meghan is currently accepting applicants'. Oh how I wish I were kidding.

I was dating a wonderful, amazing guy. He made me laugh, he was attentive and smart. We read the same books and have amazing amounts in common. He and I have essentially only held hands. Because that's all he can do. SERIOUSLY. Ergo, I am now single again. Also, I am planning a trip to New Orleans to seek out a voodoo doctor who can lift whatever crazy Gypsy curse that has been placed upon me. With the exception of New Years Boy (oh, how I miss him) the last 3 boys I've dated, count 'em, 3, have had ahem... issues. So while if just looking at the numbers of men I've dated in the past year you'd think I was a woman of loose morals. AND DAMMIT I'M TRYING TO BE ONE. However, in actuality I am closer to being a nun than the vast majority of single humans. Well a nun who curses, drinks and occasionally has flings with marines. So you know, the good kind of nun.

Now excuse me while I go weep bitterly and pour one out for my hommies. You know, the ones with the broken penises.

8 comments:

Chuck said...

You must be so beautiful you intimidate mere mortals...

On the serious side, you do know that there are other things they can do to please you, right? Also perscriptions that can rectify the situation. Do you not have these frickin commercials on every ten minutes in CA?

Or perhaps "Smilin' Bob" is single...

Chuck

Jaime said...

I swear it's an LA thing. Never came across this problem before I moved here.

freckledk said...

Oh, sweet Jesus. I just went through that -- and it's THE WORST. Doesn't matter how smart the guy, how great the banter, etc...sometimes a girl just needs to be fucked.

Todd said...

Getting closer to the old you. best college humor blog ever seen. Lets get more of this going.
-Todd

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