Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Year Ago

So we all know that I am a total hippie and do weird things like smudge my apartment and keep my acupuncturist on speed dial. Well, I also keep my astrologist's number handy at all times.

Oh yeah, soak in the level of crazy. It's awesome. And tie dyed.

So anyway, there is this wonderful thing called Saturn Returns that hits for 2 years, generally between the ages of 28 and 30. Mine hit a bit early and ended about 4 weeks ago. In it, lives are restructured, shit hits fans, people buy penguin slippers. It's nasty and fun and life altering. And per my astrologist I have the most difficult one he's ever seen in 30 years. Yay me! Can I get a cake that says that? 'Your life sucked more than most for 2 whole years!' Woo! Ponies for everyone!

But seriously y'all, it did. It was rough and I am so proud of myself for still standing. So here I am, having in theory gotten through the worst of it. This last year has forever altered me in really good ways I think. It was horrible going through it and I am still piecing myself back together, but I learned so fucking much. So much that a few minutes ago when discussing with a friend where I was a year ago, I don't even recognize that person. A year ago yesterday was the first day I 'met' Texas. A year ago today I was taking pictures of an apartment for Adam to move into when he came to LA. It is in my building and we were both so excited he could live that close. Our quote was 'It will be like Melrose Place but with less sex and more cats!'

So very much has changed in such a short period of time and I'm still gaining my footing. But, I'm still standing. Still healing and growing and changing. And that makes me happy.

Monday, October 26, 2009

I Am Old

On Saturday a friend and I got up oh so very early and headed out to Catalina. The goal was to horseback ride and hike. Upon arriving we found out the stables had been shut down. Thus we decided to paddle boat.

Internet, paddle boating is much harder than I remember. Especially when it's on the ocean and hello, waves. It was like taking a spin class, but wetter. After about 10 minutes we looked at each other and debated heading back in. Deciding that was lame, we persevered and stayed out for about two hours. This was mostly because as we got closed to the bay it A) got easier and B) there were Manta rays which you could see through the clear water. That was severely awesome. Also because each of us didn't want to seem lame so we were waiting for the other to call uncle. I finally did and she almost wept with happiness.

Upon returning to shore though, was less awesome. We stood up and both of our legs turned to rubber. The only cure we felt was ice cream, logically. And thus, we sat and it was good. The end.

We did in fact hike and then we shopped...and then we encountered the most obnoxious wedding party in the history of mankind. Apparently it's wedding season in Catalina. We were literally stalked by four different wedding parties and accidentally ate lunch about 6 inches from another. Fun, fun times. (I really hope you can tell that's sarcasm, but in case you can't, it was). However, nothing compared to the party that was on the ferry home with us. The 1.5 hour ferry... two tables away from us. Apparently the bride and groom (who were, to quote my friend, intensely icky and prone to sticking their tongues down each others throats very graphically) had eloped and taken along their group of close friends. The group was...interesting. Apparently they'd all gotten very different memos about the wedding. One was in a tux and another in sweat pants. They all though did get the memo about drinking. All I can say is I am now afraid of booze. If you can make you that big of a jackass well, then I don't really want a part of it. The sweatpants dude was slamming his body against the window of the ship trying to amuse the people inside. (Hint: not amusing) I literally had to restrain my friend from throwing things at them. This was only because I didn't want to be forced to swim home which I feared may be the punishment. Otherwise? Shoes would have been flying.

Luckily we docked and no one was injured. Except for my friend and I. It was only upon returning to the car that we realized that paddle boating had injured our backs... as we're 80 years old. We were due to go to a BBQ that night so I dropped her home and then went off to get showered and ice my back. It was then we started texting each other about our various injuries and then each fell asleep on our respective couches by 9:45. PARTY. I don't think I have ever felt so old in my life but seriously, I could have watched a couple episodes of Matlock and been pretty content.

Then last night I spray painted myself gold and went to a party. But that's a story for another time.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

How I Spend My Time Part 2

So my company is having a contest for Halloween for most creative decorations desk/office decorations. I am thinking of building a fort around my desk. Why? BECAUSE I LIKE FORTS. And, well, they gave me an excuse to build one. As such, I have spent the last day drawing out how to accomplish this using my existing office furniture and some sheets.

Yeah. I have. Again, I use my time wisely.

I have now enlisted my two assistants. I have also declared that for the Halloween party we should dress up in pajamas because, well, I like pajamas. It also gives me an excuse as to why I'm wearing my penguin slippers in public.

My fort will also include pillows and I am trying to craft a hammock under my desk. You know, for general fort purposes (and napping). I am so in to this idea I have already decided to come in an hour early on the day off to decorate.

Nope. Not dating much these days, why do you ask?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

How I Spend My Time

So thinks have a been a bit, well, bad in the land of me lately. I have been mopey and depressed. It's super awesome, I assure you. As such, I have been spending a lot of time alone. In this alone time I wandered through my local Target when I discovered something wonderful, something that would life my spirts.

I found pet Halloween costumes.

Internet, I dressed my cat up like a chicken. He really, really hated it. I did not. I tried to dress my other cat up like a pumpkin but sadly his giant size meant the pumpkin hat did not fit. There was great disappointment in the Meghan land, but then I took another picture of my chicken cat and giggled evilly to myself.

And this is how I amuse myself. It really and truly is a wonder I'm single.

Here's a different angle. In this one you can actually feel the shame.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Fun Facts

- I have the song "Every Time You Go Away (You Take a Piece of Me with You)" stuck in my head. This is not due to a boy, but due to a sing along held in a car yesterday while driving back from a meeting. Let's just say, I rocked the house. Also according to another person in the car when I go for the high notes I sound like a dying goat. I take offense to that, I think it's more of an injured sheep.

- I am obsessed with cardigans. So much so that I spent a good hour today looking at them online. Mostly because yesterday it was 62 degrees and today it's 80. Fall was fun while it lasted for those wonderful 48 hours.

- I am having a bad hair day and thus am wearing a jaunty hat. My head is incredibly warm.

- For 15 minutes today I thought it was Friday. I walked around whistling and smiling at people. Then I realized it was Thursday and thus pouted. Maturity is over rated.

- Yesterday was a shockingly horrible no good very bad day. But, America's Next Top Model was on and I had on my penguin slippers so it ended on a good note. Also, I had ice cream for dinner as again, clearly I'm a responsible adult.

- I had a drinks date tonight but it got canceled. I can not tell you how overjoyed I am about this. Have I not mentioned the oh so comfy slippers? Seriously. How over going out do you have to be to reach that level? BECAUSE I AM THERE. I like my house. A lot. I don't spend nearly enough time there. This will be rectified tonight by a classic session of 'sitting around in my underpants and doing absolutely nothing'. Life. Is. Good.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Weekend: A Recap

Dudes, my weekend was most awesome. Seriously, way beyond expectations which is hard as I set the bar crazy out of reach high. Perhaps this is why I'm single? Eh, whatever.

So on Friday night Ms. Liz came over and we carved of the pumpkins. Generally this entails me making 2 triangle eyes and giving up. However, as Liz is what some would call 'crafty' and I would refer to as 'dear sweet christ, you made your whole apartment out of yarn somehow' she brought over wood carving tools. Only two minor injuries later and I made of the best jack-o-lantern ever. Please meet my new boy, Chunk.

He's special.

Liz's pumpkin was, well, better than mine. And yours. And every pumpkin ever.

Moral: Don't fuck with Liz and her wood carving tools. Also, those things are sharp. Ouch.

On Saturday Ava and I headed up to Morro Bay. We kayaked. We drank wine. We stayed in a glitter hotel room. Oh yes... the room we were assigned at the Madonna Inn was covered in purple glitter. It was amazing. Oh, and haunted. Our TV would randomly turn on and at ever increasing volume levels. Most people would have unplugged the TV and/or hired and exorcist. We thought of neither of these things and instead went out to dinner and giggled about the fact that Liberace was clearly haunting our most tacky surroundings.

Don't believe me? Please enjoy this photo of our bathroom.

Take it all in folks. Now imagine that in person when you are shall we say, a smidgen buzzed. Hilarity ensues. There were photo shoots and general prancing about in the hotel provided pink robes. Oh and these slippers:

Because yeah, I bought those. You see at first I made fun of them. And then? Then I touched them. They are, no joke, the softest thing in the history of the universe. so I of course bought them and made sweet, sweet love to them. Or you know, insisted on wearing them at all times.

After a long night of laughing, slippers and wine we slept briefly in the Haunted Hotel Room of Doom and then headed to Hearst Castle. It's pretty. The end. Seriously, no exciting stories out of the castle other than tours apparently turn me in to a petulant 13 year old boy who will stand around with hands shoved in pockets grumbling about not being able to touch stuff. Because I'm mature AND awesome. You should check it out though as again, pretty. Who doesn't enjoy endless rooms of shiny stuff? (Just don't drag me along unless you want to hear someone whining)

I have no real way to end this post other than to say, man, I needed this weekend. It was wonderful and full of laughter and love and stories of Adam. So...um...yay. Enjoy more pictures:

Morro Bay rock as seen from breakfast

Inside the Hearst movie theater

Lamps by the pool

Friday, October 09, 2009

Weekend Shenanigans

This weekend I am dragging a friend kayaking with me. You see about a month back I created a life list inspired by Maggie. And number 49 on that list is 'Stay at the Madonna Inn'. For no other reason than A) it looks awesome with it's hilarious, individually decorated rooms and B) it's a former whorehouse. Ergo, we are going kayaking and staying at the Inn. Sadly, we were not assigned to the Cave Man room.

However, the reason for this trip is not solely so I can cross the item off the list. But also, this Saturday would have been my dear friend Adam's birthday. As I picked my friend (let's call her Ava) up at his memorial service (they were friends and I had for some reason never met her, but liked her immediately and was drawn to her ability to knock back martinis) we felt it was appropriate to spend this day together. At a former whorehouse. Which I think would make Adam smile.

So here's to checking another item off the list, staying in a room decorated like Mardi Gras and toasting to one of the best people I have ever or will ever come across. Adam, I love you. And this whorehouse is for you.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Why I Love the Internet

I am something of an internet addict. I mean, how could you not be? On the internet I can find shoes, men and videos of people doing odd yet awesome things.

Like this:

I have now informed coworkers that we should make a similar video but with Journey. And dance movies. And possibly glitter. They have politely declined. Guess it's up to me and the cats.

Oh and also, people find my blog in the weirdest of ways. Some of them make sense: googling 'cats and drunk' for example. Leads ya right to me. But the latest one: 'online dating for 11 year olds'. Um... A)WTF and B) They were lead here by my post on Britney Spears. Either that person is a pedophile or someone who wants to help their kids get an early start on heart break and awkward encounters.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009


- This weekend I had planned on laying low and decorating. Spending time by myself and hitting the gym at least 4 times. I know, I live on the edge! Woo! Instead I was surrounded by friends the entire time and ate my weight in pasta. I also drank during the day and revived the California economy single-handedly. Reviving the economy and day drinking go hand in hand in the most spectacular way. It was awesome and I can safely say that I had much, much more fun than sitting alone and crocheting would have been.

- Lately I have been out of words. I'm not sure whats up exactly but it seems to be a plague on all of my blogging friends lately. None of us have updated at all, ever. I can assure you that when we get together we have words and don't just sit around staring at each other, blinking in Morse code, but when faced with an empty blogger screen? Nada. It's perplexing.

- On Friday after getting some interesting news about an ex I went to Liz's house with a giant bottle of amaretto. Together, with our powers combined, we drank that bottle. We then drew on her porch with sidewalk chalk. Internet, Liz, my germaphobic love rolled on the sidewalk while laughing. I felt you should know that. Also, we invented an animal that is half bear, half cougar called The Bougar. I can assure you that after many glasses of girly amaretto based drinks the word 'Bougar' is shocking fun to say. Hell, it's fun now. Bougar. Bougar. Bougar. I dare you not to say it and giggle. Also, after laughing about bougars for awhile I recommend you nap on Liz's couch for a few hours. It's quite comfortable and her tiny, tiny cat will sleep on your head.