Monday, March 22, 2010

So That Sucked

If you're following me on Twitter you know that I was in a car accident this weekend. The car accident was with an uninsured driver who hit me while I was turning out of my driveway. The saddest part of the story would be the fact that I was all dressed up and wearing really cute shoes. Really cute shoes that went to waste that night as I turned right around, went home, replaced fancy dress with pajama pants and drank a lot of wine. A LOT. I did that the next day but the wine was replaced with wine coolers as my friend came by to keep me company and boost my spirits....with Twilight: New Moon. Internet, it totally worked. That movie is fun when you're sitting in your underpants sippin' on some sweet Bartles and James.

Unfortunately during the accident I jacked my back up and have been in, how do you say it delicately, shit tons of fucking pain. Today I had to go to urgent care to have it checked out per request of my insurance company. Dudes, my doctor was a Russian midget. You CAN NOT make this shit up. You can also not make up the fact that he asked me to draw out my accident for him so that he could understand what happened better (I swear he was a cohort of Geico's). Apparently my drawing wasn't good. In fact apparently my drawing skills are that of a 3 year old with poor hand eye coordination. When a Russian midget says this to you while you are in pain, well, let's just say there was waving of the arms and not nice words. The midget clued in that I planned to squish him like a Triscuit and gave me a prescription for muscle relaxers. This brings us to my most fantastic discovery ever: I really like muscle relaxers.

I like them even better when I have a whole big bottle full and a plane ticket for Vegas in the morning. Wheeeeee!

7 comments:

Chuck said...

Do you know why most accidents are caused by uninsured motorists?

CAUSE THEY FUCKING CAN'T DRIVE AND THUS, CANNOT QUALIFY FOR INSURANCE!!

Muscle relaxers are fun. Even better if you wash them down with wine, IMHO...

Have a safe and fun trip to Vegas, ODD. And don't injure yourself further, please.

Chuck

PS. My word verification is:
cythicat. Which I apparently cannot say without sounding drunk.

LOST PLUM said...

BE careful! We can't have you hurting yourself anymore! AND enjoy the trip:)

Tiia Jones said...

I enjoyed reading your post! I'll be reading more. One of my internet dating rules is: Never date midgets or schizophrenics so a midget doctor would have definitely scared me (even worse if he had started talking to himself!). I hope you had a nice trip and that you're feeling better.

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keep updating it lol

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