Sunday I went to the gym. This alone should signal the end of times or at the very least a plague of locusts, but I digress. So there I was on the elliptical jamming out to my iPod. I had just downloaded a bunch of new music, and since I am white, that music was old school rap. During the download process when given the chance between the radio version or the explicit version I always chose explicit because well, I like curse words, I know, you are shocked. However, I have mostly never heard the explicit versions of these songs. This is key.
So there I am, rocking out, volume all the way up when one of the songs that I had not yet listened to came on. And internet, I fell off the elliptical. Literally. I have apparently turned into an 80 year old woman who when confronted with super dirty, super unexpected lyrics just topples on over. Needless to say those around me giggled. They are far kinder than I as if I had seen me fall I would have pointed, laughed and possibly tried to high fiver the faller. Instead they giggled and tried not to make eye contact. I then gesticulated wildly trying to show everyone that I know how to make my feet go but I just had the lyric 'beat the puss up' shouted into my ears. I think I accurately conveyed this through mime. Or at least looked like a girl who had fallen off a piece of exercise equipment and then was flapping her arms like a 'special' flamingo. Toss up, really.