So the bad speller contacted me again. Apparently me going silent for 3 days was taken as playing hard to get. The solution? To text me with 'I want to cook you dinner and film a fake beer commercial with you'. Um...thanks? But no? Because I don't want my head to end up in a freezer?
I contend he's probably not a serial killer but the potential for non wanted touching is very high. A note to all dudes out there trying to woo ladies from the internet: offering to cook for me before we've even spoken on the phone is creepy. Very creepy. And the potential for roofies is very high.
I declined. Back to the drawing board.