Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Some of you may remember my trip to the illustrious Oxnard Strawberry Festival. Well, it's the gift that keeps on giving. Herein lies the rub, at the festival we bought roughly 97 lbs of strawberries. The vast majority of these berries were consumed in pie form almost immediately. The rest were slowly eaten. Finally we were down to one small container of roughly 5 berries. I deemed them spoiled and threw them down the garbage disposal. Apparently one of these berries carried fruit flies. The section of berry that had the fruit flies decided not to grind in the disposal and thus BOOM, a hundred million fruit flies appeared in about 4 days. It's AWESOME.

I now spend roughly an hour a day running back and forth and Mr. Miagi-ing the shit out of those little fuckers. If you were to stand outside my window you were hear the following: running footsteps, loud clap, 'AH HA! One more down, bitches!" The carnage I have left behind would make George Bush proud. But alas, it's not enough. Somehow one hides and lives through the night only to call all of his friends over to party in my disposal. Or toothbrush. Every morning I wake up and find a new batch throwing a rager in various parts of my house. I have reached the end of my rope.

Today, after I boiled my toothbrush I cleaned the disposal. I also spent an hour jumping around and clapping like an asshole. My cats, well, they remain unimpressed. I need these little buggers out of my house but no one seems to know how to make this happen. The internet only recommends, well, moving. Oh and not having a garbage disposal, trash can or food in your house. I will not surrender, it's all out war. And I am keeping my garbage can.

On a side note to add a special touch to my week my cat has a respiratory infection and pink eye. As such, twice a day, I get to wrestle him to the ground and shoot medicine into his mouth. Oh, and stick goo in his eye. Because cats LOVE that. Who wouldn't? I am thinking of building my own chain mail suit as that is the only logical outfit to wear when you have to wrestle a 12 lb bag of fur and claws morning and night. My skin? It's scratched.

This week rocks. I need a hammock on a beach and a really, really big margarita. Oh and someone to come and get rid of those fruit flies, or I am burning the place down.


Chuck said...

Perhaps you could hang up one of those fly zapper things in your kitchen?

Oh, and clean your disposal out with bleach. That should take care of any of the little buggars that are left in there.

Mel said...

here's how you get rid of fruit flies. buy a bottle of white whine. drink all but about 2 inches of it. leave it open on the counter for a day or two. the fruit flies are drawn to it. they'll all go inside the bottle. cork it and throw it out. i found this out by accident when i left a bottle open over the weekend when i went out of town, and there were hundreds in the bottle when i got home....
good luck!