Tonight I am flying to Austin. While there I will attend a reunion with Texas and drink many adult beverages. I will also more than likely embarrass Texas by insisting on wearing a cowboy hat everywhere I go, including the gym. You see, I've only ever been to the airports in Texas so in my head it's exactly like the show Dallas. Even the fashion. If it's not, I'm gonna be pissed.
For anyone keeping track, this is my 3rd trip in about 5 weeks. Have I mentioned that I hate to fly? Like a lot? Because I do. Hence, around oh, 4PM, if you see a very drunk girl slamming Xanax come on by and say hello. I'll take a picture of you in my cowboy hat. And then I'll make you look at the bump on my head from where a mirror attacked me, but more on that later. Oooh, suspense!