Dear Whoever Is Pressing the Fast Forward Button on the Weekends,
Could you, like, um, stop it? Seriously dude, it's not cool and it's also fucking with my head. I blink and it's Sunday at 11 and I have shocking amounts of things undone that decidedly need to be done, and this is no fault of my own and the America's Next Top Model marathon on MTV on Saturday. Or the bucket loads of sleep. Not in the least. If you have some overwhelming urge to hit that fast forward button would you kindly only press it Monday through Friday?
Thanks, you're a peach.