All the Time with the Warm

This weekend it was 100 degrees every day. I do not like this and am in fact all melty. When I moved to LA I imagined temperate weather year round and fake boobs as far as the eye can see. While there are in fact fake boobs a plenty, the weather is not temperate year round and I call shenanigans. I want my daily 72 degrees, no more, no less damnit. I put up with traffic and vapid people and the word 'dude' far too much to also have to deal with Death Heat.

That being said, this weekend was lovely (and warm). I had drinks with a good friend on Friday and she proposed as apparently I make a perfect 1950's housewife and make a mean martini. I politely declined. Then on Saturday the real fun began. I went to a chanting session with Liz. Yeah. I did. And I liked it. Apparently I really enjoy singing phrases I don't understand, loudly, in a room full of strangers. Oh and afterwards they gave me cake. What is not to like about that? I like a place that allows me to sing loudly and off key and then still rewards me. We decided after the cake to head back to Liz's house as she had just purchased a new DVD 'Carmen Electra's Strip Aerobics'. And nothing says 'rockin' Saturday night' like stimulating stripping with a close friend. To say that we fully understood the depth of our whiteness on Saturday would be an understatement. I believe the phrase 'but I'm from Missouri!' was screamed often at the TV when asked to drop down, spread the legs and saucily swing the hips. I highly recommend going out and purchasing this DVD and then awkwardly dancing around to it with a friend in their living room. I am not joking.

I finished off the weekend at the Hollywood Bowl where I saw a friend perform with the Thievery Corporation. It was beautiful and also, very smokey. Let's just say I haven't seen more pot since freshman year of college. Hello contact high! Just sitting there all the sudden I really wanted some Doritos and was feeling the music, man. The girl seated in front of me had obviously gotten baked before she arrived. How do I know this? Well, she was teeny tiny yet shoveling food in at an alarming rate. And also, when she reached in her bag for a cork screw she pulled out a can opener. Once we finished laughing (at her) we gave her our corkscrew. We then continued to laugh about the can opener for the rest of the night. I guarantee this is much funnier if you are surrounded by 17000 people smoking up.

And this is why I like LA.