Yesterday I decided to treat my tired self to a massage. As my muscles had turned into what can only be described as calcified bricks I decided to go the hardcore route and get a thai massage. Essentially you lay on the floor for 90 minutes while they pound on you, stretch you and walk on you. It's heaven.
At one point while laying on my stomach the teeny little woman was stretching my legs. She had one up on her shoulder and was pressing down on my calf (which had just been massaged and was slick with tiger balm) with her free hand. It was then this free hand slipped and well, I got punched in the vagina.
If you haven't seen a small woman run around in circles rapidly apologizing for punching you in the baby maker in a combination of English and Taiwanese I seriously recommend it. Sure, you have to get punched pretty hard in the bathing suit area but it's really worth it for the floor show afterward. After much apologizing (her) and trying not to laugh (me) she resumed the massage. She also gave me a 10% discount.
And on the plus side I now have a super awkward bruise. I am kind of sad I currently don't have a gentleman caller at the moment because that would be a fun conversation/explanation/show and tell to have. Oh well, my cats seemed to enjoy it.