Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I Do Not Like Today, Sam I Am

First of all, you all know I love the celebrity gossip and whatnot, but jesus, Heath Ledger died?? Really? That's not cool. At all. He seemed like a decent person and was just wickedly talented. This is not the kind of gossip I enjoy as it's just heartbreakingly sad. Ok, just had to put that out there.

Second, I would like to punch my dentist in the face repeatedly. I have a shockingly high tolerance to the numbing medication and metabolize it really quickly. My appointment with my dentist went like this:

Me: blah, blah, really high tolerance, no joke. Please give me enough to fell a rhino.

Her: You betcha.

Me: (5 minutes later in chair with drill in my mouth) AH! Ow! (muffled screaming of 'motherfucker that hurts!')

Her: Wow, you can feel that? Guess you weren't kidding, huh?

Me: No. Why would one joke about that?

Her: I gave you the normal dose, let me up it.

Me: (trying not to kill her) Yes. Please. Now.

Why would someone lie about that and why would a dentist nod and listen and then totally ignore the conversation thus causing the person in her chair extreme and shocking pain? I do not like her and will not tell her that somewhere in the city Nutella martinis exist. I feel this is punishment enough until she can meet my fists of fury (this statement is only truly amusing if you can see that at this exact moment I am wearing snowmen pajama pants and pig tails).

Needless to say, it was not a pleasant day.


Chuck said...

Joy.. So that is what I have to look forward to, eh? I think I'll cancel my appointment and kill the pain with massive quantities of alcohol.

I'm more fun when I'm drunk, anyway.


Online Dating Girl said...

Chuck I feel for you man. I do. I say, just do it. Then get drunk afterwards. It helps take away the pain.

Chuck said...

Good plan, except I can't drink when I'm novacained up. It just dribbles down my chin.

Maybe I could get an IV of pure vodka put in? That could be good....