Monday, October 20, 2008

Costa Rica: A Recap

My head is all healed up and now a lovely shade of yellow-y bruise. This means I am ready, willing and able to recap my journey to CR: the land that tried to kill me via tree.

- As you know due to the acupuncturist prescribed diet I have been off the booze for a long while (with a brief 1.5 day relapse for my reunion). Well, I decided these rules did not in any way apply to my vacation. Ergo, I started drinking in Dallas and stopped well, one day soon. Let me tell you the only way to fly is inebriated. Especially when it's bumpy due to a storm over the Gulf of Mexico. The booze also make me very friendly and I invited the dude sitting in the aisle seat to come and club with us. Luckily my very wise friend was sitting in the middle seat and reminded me that A) we weren't going clubbing and B) NO. She's a very good friend.

- When we had called the resort to make arrangements to get there they told us that we would be crazy to drive it as their roads are horrible. Instead we opted for a shuttle bus. Dear sweet Lord was that the right decision as this was the 'highway' getting to the hotel:

Yeah. Not fun in a bus either. My ass... it are bruised.

- We rented an ATV there on a beautiful sunny day. We wanted to drive it to Montezuma and get our revenge there (we are nerds and this was funny to us). Also, the area supposedly has wonderful waterfalls and lakes. We took off with map in hand headed in the '2 to 4km' direction given to us by the ATV rental dude. ATV rental dude apparently is spacially retarded. We drove up every side road within a 6km distance and each and EVERY time either ended up at someone's front door or another resort. It was then that it started to rain. Neigh, not just rain, POUR. I don't know if you have ever driven an ATV with a scared girl on the back down an incredibly muddy road in pouring rain but let's just say it's a wee bit stressful. Especially when you realize that you are wearing glasses, you know, to help you see, and you can't see out of said glasses as they have become a rain water receptacle. I was however, determined to find Montezuma so we soldiered on for a few hours and then gave up, went to the beach and took some pictures. We then returned the ATV to the ATV dude and told him that Montezuma didn't exist and he was a liar. He laughed and set the gringos on their way. Upon leaving a few days later we drove past the road to Montezuma. It was not 2 to 4km's as insisted upon by everyone but 15. Such is life.

- Rain storms are awesome. You will see a lot of them if you go to CR in October. The people in the resort restaurant thought it was hilarious that my friend and I would get so excited when it rained. We explained to them that we live in LA and there is no weather here, only fake boobs and smog. Then we went swimming in the pool during a monsoon. I highly recommend this. Also recommended: doing yoga in an outdoor hut in a rain storm and reading in hammock during rain storm. We did this a lot.

- We got massages the first night at sunset. It had stopped raining and was beautiful, made even more so by the fact that the massage studio was basically an open air hut enclosed by white sheets. While laying there being rubbed I heard a noise. Not just a noise but a noise that sounded like a monkey fighting a boar. I tensed up thinking 'oh lord, I am going to have to run butt naked through the resort when that monkey and boar fight gets closer'. The masseuse seemed to not be worried so I figured she was accustomed to monkey and boar brawls and perhaps would distract them while my nude butt fled to safety. Afterward she explained that it was not a monkey and boar death match nor a dinosaur but a Howler Monkey. I was disappointed. But, on the plus side I heard the Howler Monkeys every night and in my head: Monkey Boar Death Match. It was much more entertaining.

1 comment:

Chuck said...

Sounds like fun!! From the sounds of it, I'll bet you are a fun drunk.