I am back in La La Land and remarkably happy about this. Here I have a comfortable bed, kittens and don't have to hear my mom say things like 'lubed up'.
The context of this was during dinner. We had all been drinking a little (or a lot) and I dropped butter in my lap. I drunkenly said 'oh man, I have butter on my crotch.' My mom literally lost her shit and laughed for a good 30 minutes. Later I asked her what was so funny exactly, perhaps the use of the worst word in the English language, crotch? She said no. It was the thought of 'well at least she's all lubed up!'.
Doesn't this explain so much about me? I think it does.
Side note, boys suck. You knew this however. But just a note to the fellas out there ( namely Chuck and GamerBri as I don't think there are any other dudes actively reading this here little blog) but, if you are not in a 'relationship-y' place, perhaps you should tell a girl this before bedding her and leaving her with 2 GIANT hickeys 20 minutes before her drive back home for the holidays. Just consider this a tip from me to you as it will prevent anyone from going white girl crazy on you and/or hating you from afar. On the plus side, I own many scarves and turtle necks so it all worked out ok.