Thursday, May 21, 2009

An Open Letter

Dear Universe,

Really? No... REALLY? I get it, I'm still hung up on the dude. Do you need to keep throwing it in my face? The other day when I was coming home from therapy all red eyed from crying, it was mildly funny that the vanity license plate on the car in front of me was his last name. Hilarious. Even better was yesterday when during improv we had a substitute teacher who knew nothing about me and somehow found it deep within his soul to give me the suggestions of: break up and Texas. Yeah. They were. After 'break up' everyone squirmed in their seats, knowing my story. And after he said Texas my friend in class literally threw her hands up. So universe, you are making nice improv doing vegans throw their hands up in my defense. So fucking stop it.

But, no. You couldn't. Today, the day I was supposed to fly to Austin with Texas to meet his entire family and attend a big event but instead had to go to the doctors you threw this little gem at me:

Doctor walking into room: Hey there! Before we begin, quick question. You travel a lot right?

Me: That I do.

Doctor: Ever been to Austin?

Me: (head hitting desk)

So universe, I would much appreciate it if you would stop throwing him in my face in weird and stupid ways. Also, if you could explain last night's dream where in I am on a surf board paddling with my office manager and speaking in italian that would be great.

Hugs and kisses,


Joe said...

You slay me.

Chuck said...

Oh, Hon. The universe is an evil fucker, isn't it.

I know EXACTLY what you mean with it throwing things in your face on a regular basis. I can't watch TV or listen to the radio anymore.