Sunday, February 03, 2008

I Would Like Another Weekend Please

Dear Universe,

Would you kindly please stop kicking me squarely in the ass? I get it, I did something to make you mad. Perhaps I missed your birthday or deleted something off your Tivo that you had really wanted to watch. Whatever it is, I apologize. Kindly remove your size twelve shoe from my ass and let's hug it out.

Hugs and Kisses,

This weekend wasn't the best. Yesterday was an exercise in frustration and rage wherein I feel I deserve a medal for not shooting up the joint. The vet kept forgetting to mix my cat's medication (he has an infection, hence the couch pissing) and I spent a total of 67 minutes on hold with them, while they said 'oh we forgot, I'll put in the order again and give you a call as soon as it's done'. They forgot 3 times until I showed up in person and made them mix it in front of me while attempting to look bitchy and not twelve. Then I left only to encounter WeHo traffic the likes I haven't seen before. Apparently WeHo got their days mixed up and thought it was Friday at rush hour. It took me 25 minutes to go 1.5 miles. It was at this point I contemplating abandoning my car and just walking to another state. To me, it seemed like the best option at hand.

I eventually made it home and went out with the girls. We had much fun and laughs, which was excellent and needed. It made me not want to buy a gun. Or move to Montana with all of my belongings in a cart so that I can avoid humanity. These are my back up plans. Well that or: find job as cupcake taster, buy muumuus, live alone but happy and full. All very mature options I think.


liz said...

I have always wondered what the universe's shoe size is. 12 sounds about right. I'm on your team and currently petitioning Jesus for your reprieve. Hang in.

Dora said...

I wonder where the complaint department is? Do they have a 1-800 number for Customer Service? If you ever find out, please share, cause I have a few things I need to inform the higher ups about!!!