Sunday, April 13, 2008

Weekend: A Recap in Shortform

- Today I watched a golf match with my family including my grandparents. They did not appreciate it when my mom and I giggled about how cute some of the golfers were and then occasionally pretended to fall asleep. This will hopefully be the last golf match I ever watch on TV.

- I don't like to talk about my stepfather because when I use the type of language I get blocked from some other sites. Oh well, fuck it. He's a socially and emotionally retarded motherfucking fuckwit asshole and I hate him with the fiery passion of 1000 suns. (My family puts the fun in dysfunctional.) Well, this weekend he apparently thought I was 13 and screamed at me a for coming home late. It was 1AM and um...I am 27 and don't live here. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both. In retrospect HILARIOUS.

- Speaking of hilarious my brother and I were hanging out with some of my friends and they showed us their new vacuum. As I am a dork I was oohing and aahing over it (it's rad) and my brother mocking stood back shook his head and said 'Is this an 08?! Do you know someone?! Hook a brother up!' This made me happy.

- When asked by my friends if I was considering dating in LA eventually (in a few/many months) and I said yes. I said I assume my new beau will be named Douchebag McSkeazy as that's pretty much the availability in this great city. We'll be very happy together.

- My grandma contends that AOL is out to get her. She swears up down and sideways that she can not get nor open attachments. We all offered to look and help and she refused. It's really hard not to laugh when someone, with complete earnest seriousness, explains how a large email server hates her. This speech resulted in my and my mom and uncle rolling around on the floor laughing so hard we were crying. We are nothing if we are not a loving and supportive family.

I am so insanely glad to be home. I am going to sleep in a bed that's not a twin and this is a good thing. I love my family (except for the members with the word 'Step' in their name) but I could not be happier to be sitting on my couch. Yay home.


liz said...

Such a delightful man, your stepfather. I'm so glad you guys got to reconnect.

And if you get censored, I for one, think it was totally worth it.

Dora said...

Your stepfather yelling at you for coming home late is so over the top ridiculous that you have to laugh, it is that outrageous!!!!

AJ said...

It's okay if you date Douchebag McSkeazy. I can't even land an Ugly McBaldy on Match.