Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A Gym Tale

The other day I was out with friends in Hollywood. (When you read that word, please pronounce a la the opening from Pretty Woman and do jazz hands). After drinks and copious amounts of french fries I decided to drag my sorry ass to the gym to burn approximately 1/7th of it off. Since I was in Hollywood (jazz hands) I hit a gym I had never been to before. And I will never go to again. As apparently it wasn't so much a gym as a stereotype stronghold.

Every person there weighed 18 pounds. They were also clad 100% in spandex and mostly just stood around posing. I however was rocking a side pony and an old tee shirt from a set I worked on. Sexy, I know. I sat down on the abductor, you know that leg press machine wherein you basically imitate wind shield wipers, when I noticed the person next to me on the same machine. She was chewing gum and mostly just looking around the gym. Also, she wasn't actually using the machine, just sitting there. That's when she whipped out her cell phone and started talking. These statements were verbatim from her mouth:

'You know, I am just like, totally undervalued as a talent in this town. They just like, don't, like, get me, you know?'
'I have an audition tomorrow and I'm so gonna kill it. I think this could be it as long as they don't like, ignore my talent, you know? Oh, it's a mini series for sci fi'
'I'm working out, gotta keep tone' (she was now checking her nails)

I sadly moved over to another machine where two dudes were standing and talking. Their conversation? Apparently their skills films just aren't understood in this town, because they're too deep, dude, too deep. But a student film they just starred in should really open things up for them.

This is when my head exploded and I had to go home. To you know, undervalue some talent. And rock slowly in a corner wondering how this is my life.


Sunshine said...

wow i didnt think stuff like that really happened

Online Dating Girl said...

It really does. Pretty much all of the stereotypes you hear about LA? Totally true

Becky said...

OMG this was the best post ever. I mean I'm sorry about your head exploding and all but HILARIOUS! I love your side pony around the people who weigh 18 lbs!

Thanks for the laugh! I needed it.

Muse said...

Wow! I had (almost) forgotten how things can be at the gym... (Perhaps that is why I can't fit into my skinny pants.) Sorry about your woes... I feel you... I really, really do.