Thursday, May 08, 2008

Now With Extra Fat

I have come to the conclusion that I am basically veal. I eat, then I take a nap, repeat. This is pretty much my existence. I attempted to join a gym a few months back. I went, I sweated, and that was it. I had fully intended to plunk down my credit card and sweat it out in a pretentious LA gym on a regular basis, but then I found something out. Well three things really. The first is: I am very, very lazy. The second was the fact that old boss man (aka Satan) went to said gym. I could not bring myself to go to the same gym as him for fear that I would leap from my elliptical and strangle him. There was also a distinct possibility that he wore spandex to the gym and I didn't want to go blind. And third, every person in that gym was incredibly hot and/or on television and I couldn't work out next to them due to the therapy bills that would ensue.

So, I have continued on in my veal like state quite content with my diet of 90% carbs, 10% sugar. But then a few days ago an email went out announcing a new corporate gym membership. So tonight I went and checked it out. It was like I had walked into the promised land. Inside a very LA location gym were sweaty, chubby, red in the face people. My people. I would estimate that every person there is just as out of shape as yours truly. Perhaps even worse. They also were wearing bad clothes. I almost cried with joy.

So, I joined. I am going to go sweat it out and attempt to de-vealify. Wish me luck.

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