Today I had problems forming coherent thoughts and functioning as a human being. At work I mostly just stared at people when they asked me questions that I should know the answer to. Instead of answering however, I mumbled something about Tila Tequila and went back to looking at the walls. This was probably due to the fact that my brain had essentially been soaked in alcohol like a Maraschino cherry all weekend and then hung out to dry, but it was also due to the patented Vacation Hang Over.
As much as I love my apartment and my life here, I miss my life in New York more. Growing up I dreamed about living in New York and while I got to live that life for 8 years, it didn't turn out how I wanted it to. I miss being in the center of the world, afternoons in Central Park and walking without destination. Maybe the grass is greener, but I was so happy there, I can't help but want to go back. This vacation was just so perfect, so much fun, that it made my craving for New York a million times worse than it has been since the day I left.
Maybe it's all just wanting things to be better, somehow. I know I can't go back to the exact life I left behind. And in running back there I would be running away from the pain and hurt here, at least temporarily. But, it would find me, whether I am here on my couch, alone with a cat on my head, or in New York walking down the street. So, here I stay for the time being with the knowledge that I want to one day, somehow, end up back there. Until then I am going to try and figure things out and also remove the cat from sitting on me 24 hours a day, as well, it's uncomfortable.
And now it's 8PM and my worn out ass needs to head to bed early again.