Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Vacation Hang Over

Today I had problems forming coherent thoughts and functioning as a human being. At work I mostly just stared at people when they asked me questions that I should know the answer to. Instead of answering however, I mumbled something about Tila Tequila and went back to looking at the walls. This was probably due to the fact that my brain had essentially been soaked in alcohol like a Maraschino cherry all weekend and then hung out to dry, but it was also due to the patented Vacation Hang Over.

As much as I love my apartment and my life here, I miss my life in New York more. Growing up I dreamed about living in New York and while I got to live that life for 8 years, it didn't turn out how I wanted it to. I miss being in the center of the world, afternoons in Central Park and walking without destination. Maybe the grass is greener, but I was so happy there, I can't help but want to go back. This vacation was just so perfect, so much fun, that it made my craving for New York a million times worse than it has been since the day I left.

Maybe it's all just wanting things to be better, somehow. I know I can't go back to the exact life I left behind. And in running back there I would be running away from the pain and hurt here, at least temporarily. But, it would find me, whether I am here on my couch, alone with a cat on my head, or in New York walking down the street. So, here I stay for the time being with the knowledge that I want to one day, somehow, end up back there. Until then I am going to try and figure things out and also remove the cat from sitting on me 24 hours a day, as well, it's uncomfortable.

And now it's 8PM and my worn out ass needs to head to bed early again.

1 comment:

Auglaise said...

I live in London (UK), and I feel very much the same whenever I've gone back to Seattle to visit my friends and family there.

Someday you'll be back, and things will be better than you thought they'd be. ^_^