A few years back when I was living in Rome I decided to cook Thanksgiving dinner for everyone. The party soon ballooned up to 60 people eager to try a traditional Thanksgiving feast. Thankfully my friend was in town from the states and joined me in a two day long cooking escapade. We were nearing the home stretch and just about to put the GIGANTIC turkeys in the oven. (Two turkeys, each over 30 pounds, but I digress.) Being as turkey isn't really consumed in Italy we had to special order these and they came dead, but with feathers. I danced around like a girl screaming, 'I'm not gonna touch that, y'all are crazy' which my friend translated into Italian for those around us. Luckily the craft service guy was brave and dove right in there. This moment is key you see, because he pulled the feathers out while we watched and then went back to work. In the pulling the feathers out some apparently brushed an apple that was lounging on a different portion of the counter. That apple was to be my lunch.
A few hours after 'lunch' I broke out in sweat. Sweat all over the place and a temperature of 103. My face was flushed and I felt, well, I felt like shit. An hour after that I was huddled praying to the porcelain gods while 60 people enjoyed the fruits of my labor. I would occasionally stumble into the room and wave and then go and promptly pass out again. The next day my doctor showed up on a Vespa while wearing a velour jumpsuit, told me I should only eat rice for the rest of my life, and gave me very strong antibiotics. Despite the fact the doctor had very limited english and told me I should never drink water 'ever, ever agin...so bad', I took the meds and got well. I also lost about 10 lbs. BEST THANKSGIVING EVER.
With my current stomach woes, I look back on this Thanksgiving fondly. Hopefully by the time Thursday rolls around I'll be on the mend and able to enjoy my carefully cooked feast and pumpkin creme brulee. But, the way things are going I am not counting on it. Especially since I just had juice and well, it's bad news bears. If only I had that doctor around, sure she'd be pissed that I am drinking water and have gone off the all rice diet, but the meds she had were awesome. And she had a Vespa for fucks sake. That's just A OK.