On Saturday while getting ready to go out I used Liz's Oracle Book. If you are unfamiliar with these they are large books with a simple phrase written on each page. You place your hands on either side of the book and ask a question then open the book to any page and this is your answer. So there's your scene.
Me: Oracle Book, will I have sex in the next six months?
Book: It's time to take matters into your own hands.
I shit you not. The book made a masturbation joke. I hate that fucking book.