Monday, November 16, 2009


I seem to be losing my clothes. If I were, ahem, carnally involved with someone, there would be a logical explanation. However, I spend most of my nights alone with los gatos so that reasoning is out the window. So, this leaves the idea of the invisible gnome who destroyed my glasses OR someone is breaking in and stealing item by item. Again, I figured this out using extreme logic.

But, previously I lost my black cardigan. I had it when I got home and in the morning, gone. Then a tee shirt I use at the gym. Poof. Now my new favorite shirt. This is when I get angry. Take my old cardigan, sure, but the shirt that totally highlights my rack and makes my waist look 2 inches big? OPEN WARFARE. I have spent the evening turning my apartment upside down and inside out and have come up empty handed. However, I did find a dollar bill, a lost book and a treasure trove of socks. I did not however find my clothes. At this rate in 6 months I will have a single sock left and be using my cats to cover up my bathing suit area.

I give up. Damn gnome. I think I'll leave some cookies out for him. Gnomes like Malomars, right?


Chuck said...

There's a song called "Tequila makes her clothes fall off" that discusses someone losing her clothes while drinking...

Perhaps Vodka makes her clothes disappear?


Amor-En-Linea said...

Thank you so much for that nicely written piece of text.