Dear Hipster Girl in My Neighborhood,
Hi there. You don't know me but I see you around a lot. You are noticeable because, well, you're often kind of naked. So let me just say this: that sheer slip you wear as a dress, it's SHEER. Like totally. Especially in the sun. It doesn't matter if you pair it with a chunky pair of Ray Bans, we aren't looking at your face. Also, there's a new rip directly across the ass, not sure if you noticed that. Perhaps you did. And perhaps that's why you decided to go commando this morning. Wise choice. Especially in front of all those kids at the pet adoption faire. They had to learn about the female form sometime, right? All I can say is this, we get it. You are cute and irreverent. You don't care about societies rules! Screw them! You can dress the way you want and still drive that BMW with a coexist bumper sticker! However, next time you wear the sheet slip as a dress with no underwear you may want to a get a wax first. Just sayin'.
Thanks for making me want to punch myself in the face repeatedly,