Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sassy Boyfriend

So my friend Ava is awesome. This I have stated a few times. Together we take trips, laugh and do fancy overpriced dinners. Also, she can cook well and isn't hard on the eyes. Essentially we have the perfect non sexual relationship. Thus, we jokingly call each other boyfriend. It's become kind of known amongst our friends and family that this is the nickname and in fact when I go out with her now my mom says to say hi to my boyfriend for her. It's kind of adorable.

However, I have realized the flaw in this: meeting new people. Specifically on dates. When telling stories (which let's face it, I'm apt to do) I start my stories about Ava with 'so I was out with my boyfriend...' and then I get very awkward looks and clearing of the throat from the other side of the table. Then there is rapid backpedalling and wild hand gesticulations as I try to explain that she's not a real boyfriend just a friend with who I take romantic vacations and spend a lot of my time with. She's my 1950's asexual relationship I say.

Again, uncomfortable stares from the other side of the table. Then I show them a picture of her and all is right with the world, as again, she's stupid hot.

And that's how I spent my night: convincing a suitor I wasn't otherwise engaged and then letting him know he'd be second tier to her for all matters such as vacations and dining. It really is a wonder I'm single.


Chuck said...

I could totally be gay if it wasn't for the gay sex. If I just got to hang out with my friends and was still able to have sex with women, that would be perfect.


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