Le Sigh

Dear Today,

Kindly suck it. Hard. And when you are done, kindly kick yourself in the ass, equal to or more than you kicked mine.

Today, I don't know what I did to you, but apparently in a past life I killed your dog then used the carcass to kill your entire family. And then apparently I peed on their graves. Because that, Today, is the only reason you should have treated me so badly.

Oh, but thanks for making sure I had Cap'n Crunch at the end.

Hugs and Kisses,
Me

PS - I swear, I'm a nice person. Promise. Can we make tomorrow significantly better? I'll bake you cookies. Or give you a massage. Just make it better. Like lots and lots. Because I can't take another day this bad.